Oh the ease of wordpress. Damn my ability to not be able to customize it how I would like.
I have never given up on what I love to do. No matter how shitty, how unliked it is, I will always create something. Struggling through a bit of a creative block at the moment, I will have something sooner or later.
I quit my job not too long ago. For about 6 months,I watched as my department went downhill. I tried to help fix problems, but they kept creating the same problems. I spoke with knowledge and experience and it fell on deaf ears. I could have saved lives (just fish, but still lives none the less) , but they had it under control. I should have been running the department and they give the position to inexperienced, easily stressed, and those who give misinformation. Yet, when a question was asked that wasn’t basic knowledge, who did the go to. Me. I got angry.
They had me as a stand in for the dept. manager. If I proved myself, I would have gotten it, they said. Then they hired a person who didn’t know nearly half of what I know, with a fraction of the experience of mine. I stopped caring.
My anger and lack of caring went away. I was just fed up. Finally, I get called into a meeting and suddenly everything I do is wrong. Things that I have done for a few years, is wrong. Ratted out by this new hire. It was a big deal that I didn’t greet him that day the same way he greeted me. I’m sorry that I only had two hours sleep that night. Fuck that, no I’m not sorry. I don’t know how long they were going to keep me in that meeting, but once they started to psycho-analyze me, I left. I was done with that shit. A line crossed that shouldn’t have been. You may have been my stores managers, but you aren’t my friends, not my psychiatrist, and not worthy of talking to me like that.
That place brought out the worst in me. I haven’t been like that since high school. For years I have tried to bring out only the best in myself. To be a better person. I know I am.